The Cabbage Tackles the Threesome

In the world of men’s fancy, the threesome is the Holy Grail of sex acts. Two girls, your penis. It’s the ultimate continuum of pleasure! Or at least that’s what every guy imagines. Keyword being imagines. Most guys have no idea what it’s actually like and will most likely never know.
Threesomes create quite the sticky situation. They can only work out in a perfect world where either the two women are both completely casual encounters, or you have an immensely strong bond with one. You try it with anything in between and you’re just going to piss off your girlfriend and find yourself alone with both your hands.
By the way, researching how to coerce your girlfriend into a threesome and then following the play-by-play provided by AskMen.com will not work. If your girlfriend is me, I’ve read it. If your girlfriend is someone else with half a brain, she’ll probably notice you aren’t being genuine, especially since you’ve probably already done something that day to tip her off. So, trying the “I think you’d enjoy the experience” approach AFTER staring down another woman is a dead giveaway. Didn’t you read the rest of the article? You can’t pick the other woman. If you do, you’re just saying “I want to cheat on you and it be totally okay.”
The AskMen.com article even warns repeatedly that even if you do manage to pull it off, it will either change or end your relationship unless you truly have a strong bond with your partner. In translation, you'll only ask for it if you really don't care what happens next.


It's really just never a win/win for a guy to pursue a threesome. So why do they try? I've never met a man who wanted to tackle me with a buddy. Have I ever asked? No. Because I know exactly what a guy would be thinking if I did. Probably something along the lines of, "Shit, she found a ruler. She knows I lied about it being 8 inches."


The only thing that can be concluded is that most guys who ask for it, pursue it, possibly need it, don't care about the woman they are with. She's not enough. It's a situation that only happens in extremely casual circumstances or when the woman is the initiator and controller of the situation. It happens when it's a bonus, not deal-breaker.

Candid Cabbage

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous28.9.12

    " or when the woman is the initiator and controller of the situation"
    Sounds pretty sexist to me..
    Must be one of those feminist types who cries for equal rights as a guise for truly only desiring to be the better sex.

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    Replies
    1. Actually, that pretty much came from the AskMen.com article. When the guy picks the girl, it tends to prickle their current girl's insecurities. If the woman picks the second woman, then it allows her to feel in control and more confident about the situation.

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