Insert Fuck [HERE]

So it's said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. How very cliché, but if we work with that wouldn't it imply that men and women speak a different language? The language a woman speaks is intricate and riddled with jibes below the belt, unfounded implications, and hints hints hints. Men are much simpler. Just trade out inches with centimeters and most words can be replaced with fuck, sex, bang, and blow job.

There's always a disclaimer as well, but rather than serving as a warning as disclaimers should, they serve as an attempt to lull women into a false sense of security. Things such as:

You're not my type, but my type has let me down in the past. Maybe you'll help me find a new type.
I always enter open or sexual relationships and usually end up falling for the person I'm  with.
I'm not sure how I feel about you, but I find you really attractive and enjoy talking to you. I hope we can stay in touch. 
Can I hear a loud cough and a bullshit? I've heard all three of the above lines in some manner or another on multiple occasions. Hell, I heard line number three a few weeks ago, and yes, I laughed and remembered to insert the word 'fuck' where necessary.

For any regular readers or any familiar with my dear old Myspace blog, I have always been puzzled by men's need to make women feel like they are interested in a relationship when they are, in fact, not. Many and most women would appreciate a simple, "I just want to fuck." And they would probably say yes. What can I say, we can be quite vicious when seeking to whet our appetites. And yet, somehow it's also assumed our appetites are not only veracious, but never-ending and non-discriminatory.

Ever had a day when you're just craving a prime cut of steak? Is a hamburger going to do the trick? How about tofu? Crap no. So why should any man assume that just because you would sleep with one man, for all intents and purposes you would most definitely desire to sleep with him as well? And if guy number two is tofu to you? How is it even remotely insulting that someone would not be interested? I am quite aware that I am a prime cut of steak to some men and tofu to others. It's all a matter of personal taste which you can hardly take personally.

And yet here I am, smirking slightly not only at the dumb lines (like "My bed is more comfortable") that men use, but the poor jumps in logic as well. I'd like to believe that I, and other women, are good for more than one thing and personal tastes do matter. That's it not all just the same.

Candid Cabbage

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