A Few Small Repairs, She Said

Recently I decided that enough is enough. It's not that I think I'm ugly or unattractive, it's simply that I believe I have room for improvement--room to blossom back into my former glory of a perfect 10. So I've decided to make a few small repairs.

I've recently been hitting Snap Fitness pretty hard and with a fury. I've determined it's time to eliminate that extra bicycle tire and snap that landing gear back into flawless shape. I want to tone my body back to the place it was just a couple of years ago--the kind of body a man doesn't leave without a lot of regrets...

The furious work out sessions have also helped temper my frustrations and annoyance with my last failed attempts at romance. Why? Because the best vengeance is living well. As a result of this, I will be walking away with an improved physique and more suitors than I can shake a stick at and what will they have? Not me and nothing that compares. Hey, it's true. I really am just that great.

But wait a minute, that's not all. I have a dental hygiene visit coming up at which, I will look into my options to have my root canal darkened tooth redyed. Recently, I've begun to notice it shows up in pictures... meaning it has become far too obvious. I'm tired of looking in a mirror and seeing such a small thing ruin an otherwise gorgeous smile. It's time for my smile to shine the way it should. It may even sparkle and glitter with the addition of braces!

My final act of self-improvement entails my very first facial. Oh yeah. That's the icing on the cake! Okay, so that's more of a treat for working so hard at making myself a better me, but all the same I can imagine it will help further my goal.

So, yeah, guys--get in on this now or take a number and get in line! A perfect 10 is on the rise!!!

Candid Cabbage

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