The Cabbage Goes to Walmart

Yesterday evening I finally ventured to Walmart with the little one to replenish the Splenda packets I used up at work.  I'm afraid I've got a bit of an addiction to that fake sugary sweetness!  It was pretty delicious in my tea...

Regardless, I felt a bit guilty and figured I needed to replace the Splenda I used, especially since I intend to continue using it in my daily 5+ cups of tea.

In order to even make it to Walmart, I had to partake in an ancient trial/ritual in order to gain the rights and support to venture out into this crazy world.  I bet my reluctant son that if I could beat him in a race, we would go to Walmart rather than stay outside and play in the relatively safe yard.

I passed the trials with a solid win.

Of course the real trials came with the actual journey to Walmart - marked by incessant wining and begging.  Regardless, we made it and made it safely.  If only I'd known what was waiting for us.

After the long voyage, it was certainly necessary to partake in vitals.  We made our way to the Subway at the back of the store and things seemed to be going well until it came time to pay.

Just as the lady finished our sandwiches and it became time to pay, two teenage "dudes" in hip-hop attire (posers) walked up to the counter and just stood there.  They didn't ask for anything, they didn't do anything. They just stood.  The lady behind the counter just kind of stared at them as if she wasn't sure what to do about them.  I stared at them for a moment thinking they'd figure out they need to move, but they didn't.  So I said move.  That's it, just MOVE.  You would think they had never been to a Subway before... but I suppose this is what you get when you let children out into the world unaccompanied by adult supervision.

Needless to say they moved.

On our way to check out later in our little shopping caper, I sighted a ninja!  Now that's not something you see in Walmart everyday.  Hell, that's not something you see everyday period.  I admit I was a little frightened at first.  Generally, if a ninja is letting you see them, they're probably about to kill you.  As it turns out, this was a Leaf Village ninja (I gathered this information by the head plate.) and she seemed to simply be accompanying an elder lady on her mission to attain supplies.  Being that between the two of us, C was probably the most threatening, the ninja let us by with no issue.

Finally, we were able to conclude our journey at the check out where this tiny girl in a white tee and a brightly colored bra caught my eye.  Eh, if you got it flaunt it I say.  She had a rockin bod and was probably still in high school.  No harm in enjoying your body while it is young. I certainly was no prudish dresser in the day, but just as I was completing that thought she called out to a man standing at the end of the check out with a boy just a year or two younger than C.  Of course he was yet another hip-hop fab wannabe and they were racking up on expensive junk at the tax payers' expense.  So much for benefit of the doubt. Still have to admire her for having a body to flaunt postpartum.

And so that was my adventure in Walmart.  We made it home safely and C has gotten to practice opening and mixing his yogurt and M&Ms.  I'd say that was a successful day.



  1. Sounds like your ninja was just a Genin out on a D-Rank mission. It's protocol for such a low-ranking ninja to only be concerned with carrying out their mission, so you probably weren't in any danger.

  2. Of course not! What she didn't know is that I had with me the fiercest ankle biter this side of the Mississippi. We would have made a fearsome duo to conquer.