I entered this weekend in fits of nostalgia to be perfectly honest.  I thought I would be returning to Columbus for the weekend only for my mother to sidestep her own invite to travel northward with her.

I can't understand my attachment to that little city, but I want to be back there so badly.

To push myself further into my nostalgic turmoil, a blast from my Columbus past dropped in for a short visit.  Now I keep wishing I had been 25 and not 18 when I was there, but ultimately don't we all wish we knew then the things we know now?

On the brighter side, in a fit to have my place remotely acceptable for my guest, I did a lot of cleaning.  Really, I did.  My place is clean enough that if I have a visitor I can lie and say, "Gosh, this has been a really busy week and I just haven't gotten around to cleaning much" and they might actually believe me.  I intended to tackle the laundry basket overflowing with clean clothes today, but I have not gotten around to it yet.

I just had to sit and take in the neatness of everything.

I had my windows open and my back patio door open too and the air and the light just felt it like it did three years ago.  I was just fixated.  I kept having the feeling that I was going to have company because I always did.  Of course my only company had left hours ago.

I just have this feeling something is about to change.  Something is going to be right in my world again.  The signs just keep popping up.  A phone call out of nowhere, rediscovering old friends on facebook, a clean home (mostly), and then Danny Phantom.

Back in the day, I had stolen cable (sort of).  I paid for internet, but used a splitter to route a cable both to my television and to my modem.  So, I received every channel that came in below my internet.  It was all I needed.  Disney, Cartoon Network, and Nickolodeon came in on the low 30s.  That's where my channels mostly stayed with little boo munching dry cereal and watching SpongeBob while I chatted on the internet with the man I thought I'd marry.  Then Danny Phantom would come on.  No matter what I always wanted to make it home in time to see the next episode of Danny Phantom.  I have yet to figure out the appeal, but I loved the show none-the-less.

I just wish I could still be sitting in the same spot watching Danny Phantom with boo before bedtime.  I want to be opening my front door for someone special--a lover or just a good friend coming to watch a movie with me.  I'm just ready for changes and ready for happy to happen.

Maybe this will be the year things change.