Or at the very least feels like it. I'm not known for being the most graceful creature to stride the planet, though I put up a fairly great performance until the major fall. After almost a year of hiding from the world, I've spent the last few months slowly re-entering it socially. The dating debacles have been some of the most major and mind boggling as I try to understand how to cope with the simple fact that most people don't care about those around them, but sometimes it's the simplest things that make me feel like I'm trying to run in heels.

Almost kind of literally actually... I haven't had much cause to bust out the plethora of party heels I have overrunning my closet and tucked away in rolling storage under my bed, but lately I've been giving it a go. Quite frankly, I should stick to looking pretty on a pedastol. Each time I've recently worn heels to any event requiring major amounts of motion, I've ended up flat on my ass.

It's bad enough that I've been known to trip over a blade of grass while wearing flats. You can imagine the higher I go, the harder I fall. Maybe at one point in my life I could rock massive heels on sidewalks and bar tops, but perhaps I'm just not that spry anymore. It's painful to admit. I can't resume where I left off. I'm 26 and the world for me is a different place. Heels are no longer for long nights on the town, but for work and for fancy dates where it's more about an overall presentation and not a strut down the sidewalk runway.

The realization truly set in as I sat in one of my favorite downtown bars listening to a great band and watching a crowd mostly four years younger than me rock out. I should also mention I was nursing a skinned knee I sustained while touring the town's wine tasting event. Yup, dress and heels and lots of walking (and falling). I truly did not feel like I belonged. I've crossed into a different era and a different crowd, but I've yet to find what it is. Until I find it, however, I suppose I'll be stumbling in heels and hoping I find the right place with the right people before the zombie apocalypse. A down girl with a skinned knee would make a tasty treat.

That's me, Destroyer of Cheese Sticks, Warrior of Woodchuck. I've recently taken to having a basket of cheese sticks and a bottle of my favorite beverage at a local eatery/bar while reading a book. Yes, that's what single, nerdy girls do that have no job and no male prospects. We eat alone, drink alone, read a book alone.

And, honestly, that's fine. I've put myself out there over and over again for jobs and lovers without much luck. It seems I'm over qualified for most jobs and under qualified for most guys. My writing experience and ability is far too extensive to be a receptionist at a realtor's office or an account manager for a pedo-tracking system. My looks, though above average, don't mirror Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox so I can't compensate for my lack of stellar employment or bastard child. Oh yeah, or the fact I'm a total snark-a-holic.

With let down after let down, continuous disappointments, and a total lack of lover-rific sex, you'd think I'd be wallowing in despair. Nah.

I've still got great legs and plenty of old-ass creepers checking me out when I walk through town, so I guess I'm doing just fine. Not to mention I still have two less than stellar dating profiles in the hopes of snaring some poor bastard who can't tell just how amazingly hot I really am from my pictures. Or that I'm a lot nicer in person than in text.

I can't help it. I'm super mean on the internet. It's so easy and I'm so good with words. It's hard not to be insulting at times. It's hard not to make fun of people. It's what I'm good at for chrissake. Respect that shit. Fo'real.

So, for now I'm going to enjoy reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being and a great cabernet, and you can send some hot men my way. I'll play nice, I promise.

Coffee is LOVE <3

So I've made everyone wait, mostly because I've been low on fuel. You know, the brown gold, love in a cup, coffee. My reluctant months of working from home [frequently nude] finally came to end. Could you tell I hated it? Probably not, because I knew if I blogged too much during that time, my disdain for what I was doing would leak through loudly. The unfortunate side product of no longer working from home for the [insert expletives] I used to work for meant cutting back on costs which included my caffeine addiction. [insert more expletives]

I found ways to make my online presence free, essentially pay for itself and then some. Woot. At least I was able to continue supporting my internet addiction. And speaking of support, please don't hesitate to click that donate button, even if it's just to drop me a few cents. For real. You'll be buying me a cup of coffee to keep this blog going. No lie.

Honestly, things got tight for a few months and I had to take a part time job to avoid starving to death. [insert rant about the failings of government assistance] Finally, I'm back in office work at least temporarily and though it has served to remind me how jipped I've been at my last two jobs, I've been enjoying my time in air conditioning, wearing business casual, and not having a ceiling leak on me as I attempt to work. (Nor have I been listening to the mindless nagging of the office hoe.) It's been a blessing and a relief, but it was a long time coming.

I've of course been interviewing like crazy in between working hard in the hot, hot sun, and there have certainly been some duds. One I think was just to help someone get a bonus if I got hired, which I surprisingly didn't... however, I think it could be because they could tell I wasn't terribly impressed by the job or the pay. Not to mention I had a terrible time finding a cup of coffee on the way there. Seriously, a stretch of Covington with no coffee shop? No cosy chairs and constant sounds of grinding and brewing? Well crap. I don't know how I could handle a lunch break without the loudly quiet café to escape to. Just saying.

Of course after is when I found the hidden cafe by accident next to the Smoothie King I resigned myself to stopping at. Considering what I saw going in and out looked like they were straight from Jersey Shore (or Chalmette) I'm not sure I'm worried about missing out on that café. And anyway, I discovered the Green Tea Tango with Strawberries and it is delicious. Just like I'm pretty glad I missed out on driving 20-30 minutes to a low paying job in a crowded building.

I always have great ideas about what I'm going to post next while I'm driving and forget those ideas once the car comes to a stop. Seems to be how it works, and go figure that it is difficult to jot down said ideas while driving. Such is life!

I've been trying to concentrate on writing my last paper for this semester, but as usual my mind is clogged with a million other things. Switching to part time work had alleviated much of these distractions, but it seems new ones clamored in to take the place of the old ones. Right now, I'm slightly disappointed that I have not heard back from a job (part time) that I was really interested in and would have solved a lot of my financial problems. I'm also disappointed by my last encounter with the opposite sex. Yes, I have actually begun dating again (thus new distractions).

Though my last try at making a human connection with a male of my species seems to have flopped, I suppose I can't complain. I'm suddenly more interested in being me again. I'm suddenly more interested in leaving behind my virtual world and re-entering the real one. Nothing is as bad as it seemed. No regrets are to be had other than it never went further than a few dates.

I seriously have very little in the way of snark to share about it! I mean sure, I could definitely come up with a few things. (Like arrogance!) But honestly, what I gained from a drop of male attention was enough to send me flying back into dating and socializing and to remind me how much I enjoy doing those things.

My current part time job has done plenty to help me start getting back into shape, and I actually went for a run a few days ago. It was hell, but I'll keep at it until I make it. Despite the misery my last job left me in, it really seems that how things are now are coming together for the best and leading me in a much better and much more determined direction. I hadn't even realized how miserable I had become until I wasn't anymore. I feel healthier, I look healthier, I actually have a libido again.

Now to get past my writer's block, finish my final paper, and figure out what I'm going to do if the job I want doesn't call me back. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

So, the process finally began last Monday with the installation of my very own braces! Soon, I will be sporting straight teeth and a correctly aligned jaw... I hope. I still have gotten NOWHERE with the surgeon's office. They are too lazy to even call my insurance company just to see what my insurance will cover. I'm not getting very good vibes from this place and it is making me think I should start looking in Baton Rouge for a different oral surgeon. Ugh!

I guess it is no different from going to any of the local fast food restaurants and they can't even get a simple order right. Welcome to Southeast Louisiana.
In other news, I've been keeping myself busy with top secret scheming as well as work and school. I've got a minor break on my other blog and have been asked to cover a music series! Yay!

I also rearranged the entirety of my room in order to create a work station so that I may work comfortably from my room, not on my bed. I fall asleep on my bed. I did all of this last Tuesday and I hurt for days after. I'm only just now feeling totally normal in the back area. Ouch!

So far my graduate class is the furthest thing from stressful. It's the kind of work that I can generally do the day it's due and yay for me it's done.

Until next time my cabbage colleagues!

Recently I decided that enough is enough. It's not that I think I'm ugly or unattractive, it's simply that I believe I have room for improvement--room to blossom back into my former glory of a perfect 10. So I've decided to make a few small repairs.

I've recently been hitting Snap Fitness pretty hard and with a fury. I've determined it's time to eliminate that extra bicycle tire and snap that landing gear back into flawless shape. I want to tone my body back to the place it was just a couple of years ago--the kind of body a man doesn't leave without a lot of regrets...

The furious work out sessions have also helped temper my frustrations and annoyance with my last failed attempts at romance. Why? Because the best vengeance is living well. As a result of this, I will be walking away with an improved physique and more suitors than I can shake a stick at and what will they have? Not me and nothing that compares. Hey, it's true. I really am just that great.

But wait a minute, that's not all. I have a dental hygiene visit coming up at which, I will look into my options to have my root canal darkened tooth redyed. Recently, I've begun to notice it shows up in pictures... meaning it has become far too obvious. I'm tired of looking in a mirror and seeing such a small thing ruin an otherwise gorgeous smile. It's time for my smile to shine the way it should. It may even sparkle and glitter with the addition of braces!

My final act of self-improvement entails my very first facial. Oh yeah. That's the icing on the cake! Okay, so that's more of a treat for working so hard at making myself a better me, but all the same I can imagine it will help further my goal.

So, yeah, guys--get in on this now or take a number and get in line! A perfect 10 is on the rise!!!

After a weekend full of revelry, we bring you one very important lesson. Always keep your landing gear well maintained and well equipped. If you expect to do a lot of traveling and potentially a lot of landing, the landing gear is exceptionally important!

The general idea of this exceptional weekend was to have a lot of fun with my son and a lot of fun for mommy time. I was able to achieve both goals. On the way to Pensacola, I stopped for a great time in the Edgewater Mall with a great friend. We wondered around and chatted and browsed, catching up and having a good time.

By the time we arrived in Pensacola, it was nearly time for Mommy time to start! I have unfortunately had an amazing pair of skankilicious shoes that I have been unable to find the right outfit and venue with which to wear them. This weekend, the perfect outfit was found and plenty of good venues as well. It was a great time to be had by all!

Random Related Anecdote: While having a great time drinking Blue Hawaiians in Flounders, one of the many men to approach me and pay me quite sincere compliments showed a remarkable display of honesty. According to him, my shoes were quite hot and brought attention to the wonderful physique of the landing gear. If he took me home, everything else would come off, but the shoes would have to stay on. Thank you, random honest guy.


After having a great night at the many beach bars in Pensacola, Sunday came with torrential rains that never seemed to lift. Little C was terribly disappointed that "we came all this way for nothing." So, on our way home I promised him that when the rain lifted, we would stop. I was really hoping it would lift around Mobile so I could take him down and show him Mobile Bay. He had already had a chance to see the Gulfport beach briefly on the way in.


Strangely enough, not only did the clouds clear, but the sun began to peak through right around Biloxi! C was incredibly excited and I took the appropriate exit to bring him down for some beach time.


We spent about an hour playing in the sand and splashing in the shallows. This time, one-on-one with mommy, made C incredibly happy and mommy as well. I honestly think this might have been the best part of the whole trip. Once we finished up at the beach we stopped in for a quick hello/goodbye with our friends before carrying onwards home.


Random Related Note: The appropriate accessories to your landing gear is always unique to your situation. Sometimes, the appropriate accessory is none:


The rest of the way back was filled with great conversations with old friends with lots of catching up. The Cabbage may even be taking this show to California before long! Stay tuned for details.

And The Cabbage highly recommends Gulfport and Pensacola to anyone looking for a quick get-away.

Every relationship has its lifespan. Some are meant for a night and some for an eternity. The rest fall somewhere in between. The trick is recognizing where each one falls.

Sometimes it is difficult to tell and sometimes two people don't feel the same way about their time span together. For those of us emotionally mature, the simple solution is open communication. Then it can be allowed to live and die in its allotted time. Sometimes all we need to get us refreshed and ready for life is a happy weekend or month or two.

After C was born and his father had been kicked out of our home, I was dealing with an insane amount of change in a short amount of time. I needed something or someone to keep me sane and on track. I'm not sure I would have made it through that first summer alone. I certainly was not ready for any sort of commitment, but I certainly could stand to have someone to look forward to in my life. An adult someone that is. It's hard to keep your sanity when your only communication is with a small child.

Luckily, I met someone looking for something similar. He only had a couple of months left in town and didn't want any emotional/relationship baggage to carry with him, but he did want someone to spend his last little bit of time with. It was perfect for both of us. I had adult companionship to look forward to in the evenings and not just the endless cycle of work, be a mother, try to sleep, not sleep, go back to work. I had movies and occasional outings, card games and conversation, and sometimes someone to cook dinner with. When it was over, it was over, and we each went our own way with plenty of happy memories.

I've found since that not every man is as comfortable being upfront about what he needs or is looking for. I guess the fear is that if he tells a woman he just wants something for right now, she'll be out the door without looking back. Unfortunately, this assumption is based on the misogynist misconception that women solely desire lasting or permanent relationships and that our single-minded goal is get married and have children.

Random Related Fact: Women have a much smaller corpus callosum than men. This means that we use both sides of our brain in harmony and more efficiently. In other words, we are far from single-minded.

What generally sends me straight out the door is when I get the impression that a man has little to no respect for my intelligence or emotional maturity. Telling me precisely what type or length of relationship he desires will at the very least earn my comradery. It is entirely possible that I may respectfully decline, but the keyword is respectfully. Heck, I might even know someone that would be a better fit that I would be happy to introduce.

What I absolutely despise is manipulating my emotions--making me believe what he wants is long-term--while all he desires is something for the here and now. Then, to end it by brushing me off rather than showing me the respect I deserve by admitting I am not want he wants now or ever. I find it insulting to say the least.

Random Related Fact:  In a study of gender differences done by Petrides and Furnham at the University College in London, they found that women possess a higher level of social/emotional intelligence than men. They also found that men tend to rate their own levels higher than their actual levels of social and emotional intelligence more frequently than women. In other words, men think they know better than us...

So when are we all going to be on the same page? I think the day is sooner than we expect. The simple fact that I and other women have had multiple mutually understood relationships like the one I described proves it. However, I've had just as many or more where I was mislead in a man's intentions. As a matter of fact, I have enough of those tales to relate that I could easily post a blog on each one and never run out of material...

Over time the number of men who respect a woman's intelligence and maturity will increase as they see the positive results for men who choose to be communicative. In the meantime, us ladies simply need to continue responding appropriately to open communication and developing our own understanding of ourselves in order to see this change over time.

I've recently had to return to the home nest to save money at the cost of my social life.  This, of course, is a frequent source of frustration.

On a whim, I called about a "For Rent" sign I passed on my way to work the other day.  I was shocked to discover an alarmingly low price for the downtown property.  Regardless, the "alarmingly low price" was still a bit out of my reach.

All weekend I've been scheming of ways to bring into my grasp, but nothing really struck me as feasible.  I had pretty much resigned myself to disappointment, but I was still going to take a look at the place.  You never know right?

It was crap.  It was complete and utter crap.  The trailer I lived in previously was in better condition than this place.  I couldn't have squeezed an ounce of class out of that place.  Funny thing is though, I'm pretty sure I'd have gotten more mad props for a crappy downtown apartment than I ever got for a bright, airy trailer.

So, in the end, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything particularly great due to being poverty stricken.

How's that for a silver lining?