Spreading My Leaves or The Daily Cabbage Sing-Along Blog

So tonight I'm doing something I rarely do anymore. I'm going naked! Figuratively speaking, of course. I'm sure it's hard not to notice that though I do often share bits and pieces, it's never enough to make a whole or to know the real cabbage.

And sure, there's plenty of reasons for that. Potential stalkers is the most obvious problem with sharing too much. The other problem is sharing too much with the people who actually know you. I mean there are parts of all of us that are sacred. We don't just want anyone knowing those parts right? Especially someone we'd actually have to face.

At one point in my life (and with a previous blog) I was much more open. I also had MANY more readers. People are naturally curious. Don't think I haven't noticed my blogs on dating seem to be some of the most popular!

So why this sudden introspective? I miss the reckless me that threw herself into everything (even blogging) with her heart on her sleeve. I want her back, but I'm well aware of why she is gone in the first place. Like Dr. Horrible, I've gone from wanting to use my freeze ray to stop the world for you to using it for the destruction of Captain Hammer. Balls!

I just find that my faith in other people has slipped. I've become guarded because I learned a long time ago that the selfless are sacrificed for the selfish, and I don't want to become an easy target. It's become second nature to blend with the rest of the people, never letting them know I was ever anything other than one of them. But... just as "it seems to me / Some kind of harmony / Is on the rise" I realize "How the world is filled with filth and lies."

There really isn't anyone on the same page as me regarding how the world should be. Not even close. And it honestly breaks my heart every time I think I'm on the same page as someone else only to realize we're reading a different book. The only option I'm left with is to close my book quickly and retreat before more pages are torn from the binding.

So, I leave you with these lines from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog:
Listen close to everybody's heart 
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
And crashing to the ground

I cannot believe my eyes
How the world's filled with filth and lies
But it's plain to see
Evil inside of me is on the rise 
Until next time.


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